kobblublu | short jaune/weiss drabble

To be honest, I don’t think anyone would have wanted to be in my shoes that first day.

Hey, I was nervous, alright? Not only that, but motion sickness is a serious problem, and I’m still wishing that more people will pay attention to this issue in the future. Maybe I should make some sort of petition, the kind where people have to sign a tablet, and with our one-hundred signatures we’ll march into the doors of Beacon with our fists raised high. I can just see it now; all the teachers gasp once they realize that getting sick on an aircraft carrier is pretty common! Maybe with the new found awareness I’ll become someone really cool instead of-… well…

Wait, sorry, I got distracted. Pyrrha says that’s a pretty bad habit of mine, but at the same time it’s nowhere near as bad as Nora.

Right, back on track. So maybe I was also insanely nervous because I had just snuck into Beacon, having forged my own documents in order to get in. At the time all I wanted to do was follow in my family’s footsteps and make them proud, heck I still want that! But a lot of my reasons have changed now, for the better I mean. Those first few hours were absolute torture though, I was a shaking mess, more than usual even. Everyone else looked so capable, like they could definitely handle themselves in a fight, and I just kept thinking to myself, “what am I doing here?”

I wanted to leave as soon as I got down on the ground…. I mean, after I was done throwing up in the nearest trash bin. I tried to pick myself up again, to tell myself that everything would be fine. I had gotten in, I was here, and there was no way anyone would find out. At one point I just stopped walking after getting off the ship. My legs wouldn’t move anymore and I watched as the people simply walked past me. A couple of them bumped into me, muttering something under their breath about me. I hadn’t cared; all I was thinking about was whether or not I could actually do this.

You know what the dumb part was? I just sucked in a deep breath and took my mother’s advice. Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. Confidence is key. And that she knew I could do great things. I nearly spilled all that to Ruby too when I was walking with her, but I had decided to stop myself. I was a criminal for sneaking in, the last thing I needed was for people to know I was a mama’s boy!

…And I’m not, let’s get that straight! I just think my mom has very good advice, thank you.

The reason I’m talking about this though is what I found when I stood in that room full of people. Ruby had ditched me, and while I had played it off, I was still insanely nervous. All I could do was stare at everyone, thinking maybe I could find another friend in this place. I know it’s dumb, I know it’ll probably sound corny, but I was so happy that someone like Weiss had even noticed me. I’m not very observant of most people, or even most things! But I did know who Weiss was. Maybe I’ve listened to her music a couple dozen times, about a million times more now that I actually know her, so I really can’t deny that I was more than thrilled she showed some interest in me.

Even if I found out later she was totally making fun of me.

So I guess I just wanted to get this out there, or whatever. This is all just what I think, and I’m free to say whatever I want right now! But I really admire Weiss. She’s so pretty, and popular, and she just has this sort of attraction that I can’t even begin to describe. I knew it from the moment I first saw her. Even though I joke around a lot and call her Snow Angel, and Ice Queen, I don’t really think those things. She’s harsh, opinionated, blunt, and totally makes my heart clench whenever she turns me down, but at the same time I don’t want to give up. Why? Because there’s a certain warmth to her that I can’t really put my finger on. Not only is she the smartest girl in school, but she’s so strong too. I really look up to her as a person, and I wish I could be that comfortable with myself to be so overly opinionated. Sure, I have a lot of thoughts and everything, but I’m usually too shy or think no one wants to hear them anyway.

So maybe, just maybe, I also want her to see me the same way too. I’m not doing this for some sort of self-gratification; I’m not like that at all! However, if Weiss were to see me with that same warmth, I think I would really die and have gone to heaven.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I know about all of her bad qualities too. She’s moody, loud, egotistical, and pretty patronizing… and I guess I’m a total idiot for still liking her so much even after I know all of that. I don’t think I can just leave her alone that easily, there’s something about her that’s seriously bothering me too. Sometimes she puts on these fake smiles and pretends to be alright, and that’s what hurts me the most.

So, she can go ahead and call me names, refuse to let me in on the fun, and even turn me down, as long as she’s doing that for real, and not just because she thinks she has to, then hey- that’s totally fine by me.

Sue me ladies and gentlemen of the jury; sue me if it’s so wrong to have a deep, deep crush on Weiss Schnee! Because I do, and I wish that she would give me a chance. She’s been the most real around me, and I don’t mean to brag at all, but that’s pretty special.

…Should I start working out more so she’ll notice me? Or maybe I should dye my hair blue or something. Agh, whatever. A hero never gives up! And that includes trying to melt the heart of my Ice Queen.

Don’t tell her any of this either, okay?! She’d think I was just some corny idiot, even more than I already am to her.